November: A month of literary abandon

Although I know I've quietened down on here, November has been a super busy month for me. Between all the usual obligations such as work, and all the social events, like our trip upto Seoul, I decided to give myself an additional challenge.

I kept it quiet from most people, mainly because I guess that I don't have the confidence in myself to think that I won't just pack it all in at the first hurdle, but now that I've finished one day ahead of the challenge date I feel like I can explain a little bit more why I've not been such an avid blogger.

I decided to take part in this year's National Novel Writing Month (Nanowrimo). It's a challenge that anyone can take in November. It encourages people to try and write 50,000 words, which is the average length of a novel, in just one month. When you first look at the number 50,000 it seems like a mammoth task, yet when they sell it to you as just 1.667 words a day, it seemed alot more doable. So I signed up the day before it started, October the 31st, without much forethought about my plot.

I'd had an idea in my head for a long, long time about a story I'd always thought I could write. I know I'm not the next J K Rowling, but writing is something that I've always enjoyed, so I thought that maybe it was time to stop thinking about it and start actually trying to turn it into something physical.

The first week was easy, it was still a novelty and the ideas were flowing. By the second week, I'd run out of ideas, and was at risk of turning the novel into a short story. I had to catch up on the weekend's wordcount before I could even start the rest of the week. This made it feel like more of a chore. As if school somehow knew I'd decided to do this, the work load increased. There were speech contests to judge, the next event day to plan for, new work books to shop for, meaning I had a lot less time to sit at my desk and write.

When I sat down at the computer on the 21st of November, I was over 10,000 words behind the goal word limit, which is roughly a week behind. This was mainly because I was so excited about sharing my Seoul pictures on my blog, that I decided not to do anything on my piece on the Monday or Tuesday. So that night I had to brace the chill and lugged my laptop, charger and all down to a coffee shop. I sat there and didn't move until I had caught up.

I'm long past the point where I think this novel is going to work, the story is awful. I'm constantly repeating phrases like 'All of a sudden' and 'She held her breath'. The characters keep morphing into other characters, are they good or bad? Even I don't know. Even at the 35,000 mark I still didn't know how I was going to end it, at 50,000 words I still don't like what I decided to call the main character, I really dislike her too. I wanted her to be pretty cool, but she's turned into a Kristen Stewart-esque sulky teen.

Yet it was interesting to see how the story changed and seemed to lead itself to a logical ending. And even though I know I'll cringe through every part of it when I read it, at least I can say I actually did it. And give me a month or two break from a word processor, I might actually want to use it as a rough draft to work on. Maybe this story could work after all. Maybe.

Before November, the most I had ever written was my dissertation four and a half years ago. That took me at least 7 months and it was only 14,000 words. I felt incredibly proud of myself, so doing nearly four times as much writing in just a month is a massive achievement.

I've never been the most self disciplined person. I decide to eat healthily, have salad for my dinner and then chase it down with an ice cream. I resolve to get myself in better shape for roller derby, but drink too much the night before, so I'm happy that I've proved to myself that I can do it if I really apply myself.

So that's the biggest thing that's happened this month, along with the small fact that I stepped into North Korea.

Apart from the writing this month was filled with quiet weekends spent vintage shop browsing, telling people you love them by giving them chocolate covered sticks on Pepero day and art. We went to the Trick Eye museum, I shared the art around our school from the street art festival and we also paid a visit to the old refugee camp, Anchang Village. I finally got to watch the new Twilight movie, go ice skating and gawp at the amazing Christmas tree in Shinsegae, I'm feeling ready for Christmas now!

There are lots of exciting things I have to look forward to coming up in December, and now I've finished the story, I can properly build upto them. We have a ski trip with the school from the 10th-12th December, our final Event day of the year, with a British theme, my birthday, Christmas and then Nick and I are headed to BEIJING for NYE with Clare and her boyfriend Joe. So excited!

Funnily enough, the other day I was randomly looking on TED and found this talk on trying something new for 30 days and Nanowrimo was mentioned. Next up, which I think will be the hardest, is trying to break my awful habit of picking my split ends.

Guest Blogger: North Korean Defector

My first guest blogger today...I've asked Tasha to share a bit about the talk by a North Korean defector that was held this weekend. Before I made the decision to move to Korea, I never really paid much attention to North Korea. I knew that it was a severely poor country and that its strict dictatorship seemed to be the brunt of jokes from the rest of the world. It was only when a friend suggested I read the book Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick, which i would strongly recommend, that I learnt about the horrifying things that the North Koreans had experienced. I always imagined such poverty to belong to a Dickensian London, or a third world country, not based in the 90s and 2000s by a country whose people have been unknowingly put in this position by an impossible ideology and a touch of stubborness. 

This weekend was a busy one but a few of us made time to go to a lecture at Pusan National University on Saturday afternoon to see a talk by a recent North Korean defector now living in South Korea. Sadly Maddie didn't make it on time so she asked me to do a bit of a report (it's actually been like a school assignment with a proper deadline and everything!) - I am not the talented blogger in this duo so apologies for the rambling account to follow!

It was a long sweaty trek to find the building where the talk was taking place - Korea's infamously bad sign-posting was on form and we were forced to stalk some other Waegooks in the hope that they were there for the same reason as us. Despite somehow losing sight of the precious foreigners we managed to navigate the sprawling campus and arrived at the lecture theatre bang on time. This meant we got seats, but only just as the room filled up and people were forced to stand at the back.

There was an overwhelmingly foreign presence in the room and the lecture was introduced by a British human rights activist who gave a brief summary of the current situation in North Korea, then showed a video containing shocking images of emaciated children and people lying dead in the street. Immediately after this "Miss Kim" (a false name to protect her identity) was brought on to the stage with her translator to begin. I thought the timing was a little insensitive and she was understandably in a bit of a state by the time she reached the podium - I think it would have been a bit more appropriate to give her a minute to compose herself after watching the traumatising scenes that she has actually experienced, but she managed really well.

Through her tears Miss Kim briefly told her story. She described her childhood as normal and happy until the Arduous March (the name given to the famine during the 90s) when she spent most of her teenage years in a constant state of extreme hunger and was forced to live off foliage that she found in the forest in order to survive. She spoke of her parents‘ jobs; how at one point her father worked without pay for 4 years and then was made redundant, eventually dying at the age of 60. This was what made Miss Kim decide to leave, as her mother and sister had also fled. She still doesn't know what has become of them.

After the talk it was over to the audience to ask questions. Miss Kim wasn't able to say much about how she escaped; detailing only that she obtained a visa to visit another area of North Korea under the pretense she was visiting a family member, then crossed the river into China where she spent 2 weeks hiding from the Chinese security forces and travelling through the mountains. Having left in October 2011 and only being in South Korea for 2 months we could only imagine where else she had been and what she went through.

When asked what the biggest difference between North and South Korea was, she replied that in N Korea the country comes first and people come second, but here (and elsewhere) it is the individual that comes first and the country comes after. Miss Kim said that in S Korea a baby is born to be beloved - this was a sentiment she found totally alien and remarkable.

What struck me most was when Miss Kim explained that in N Korea if you have a dream you know you will never achieve it, so there is no point in having one. Everything is pre-determined for you at birth (depending on the behaviour of your family you are put into one of the three classes - loyal/wavering/hostile - and you are assigned your job, told who you can marry and basically have no choice in anything you do). The idea that other people have the ability to have a dream and persue it was the most amazing thing to her and made me realise how often we overlook that simple privilege in everyday life.

When someone asked Miss Kim what she wanted to do now it was incredibly saddening to hear that she has no idea what she actually wants or likes, and at the age of 29 she is only just learning about herself so that she can discover what her dream is and try to achieve it.

It was interesting to hear that the foreign aid being sent to N Korea (in the form of rice and medicine) is basically useless because it is immediately seized and sold for profit, rather than benefiting the poor and starving population. Miss Kim said the only thing that really helps the people is the illegal smuggling into the country of movies, music, TV shows and anything else that shows them what it is like for the rest of the world and gives them hope and a reason to try to leave. It makes you realise that as much as foreign countries try to help it seems we never really know what will actually be of assistance.

There are no photos to go with this blog entry because we were all told before Miss Kim came on stage that under no circumstances should anyone take a picture. This is because if anyone in N Korea was to find out that Miss Kim had left, her entire family would be executed as punishment. Infuriatingly some ignorant people in the audience still felt the need to take photos of her and I can only hope they weren't stupid enough to share them on Facebook.

Having achieved our cultural aim for the weekend we headed back to the main area of PNU for lunch and beers, but the lecture certainly gave me a lot to think about. The saddest thing is that there doesn't seem to be much anyone can do to help or intervene, except hope for reunification of the Koreas one day like the rest of the North Korean population.